At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
