How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
