I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
