You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I AM VODKA MAN
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
