Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
home. puking in laundry basket.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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