I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
