GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
