I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
