who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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