So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize