god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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