2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
