So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
