Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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