Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's just like the Real World with babies
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
