Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
