So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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