And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Couch. On fire.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
