ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
