Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
