Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
