you would pick up someone in the library
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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