Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
