omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
