She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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