um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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