Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
