Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
