Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
