By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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