the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
