I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
