I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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