I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
