Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
