Pappa wants mamma naked
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
