just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
