BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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