How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
