"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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