bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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