i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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