I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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