When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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