Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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