You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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