These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
