who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
