Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize