The best revenge is premature balding
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
