the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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