Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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