She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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