Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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