FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize