as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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