So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
